Man Proposes, God Disposes
Man Proposes, God Disposes
The Faith Journey of Joshua Law
Not a coincidence, but an act of grace, arranged of God.
God’s Exhortations:
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Bible, Proverbs 3: 5, 6
My Parents’ Teachings:
My mother often said to me: Whatever you do, you must do whatever it takes to do everything perfectly, because everything must not be done merely for yourself, for friends, for others, for superiors, for your country, but for God ’s love. There is nothing difficult in the world, unless your will is not strong enough.
Becoming Christian:
In 1957 I accepted Jesus as my Savior. In 1959 God called me to serve Him through serving others. From then on, I got a goal in my life, but to reach this goal, the journey has not been easy and certainly not simple. The great Chinese strategist Kong Ming (諸葛亮; 181–234) once said, “Man proposes, Heaven Disposes,” In my life, I have experienced that however much I can plan and work, God is the only one in control, who closes doors and opens doors to guide me in everything that I do. However, I have been convinced that God loves me like everybody else He created.
Frustrations of Failure in Applying to Study Abroad:
In 1965, I was sophomore in college, studying biology, I was awarded the I-20 (student acceptance certificate) from University of Chicago’s Northwestern Medical School as an undeclared premed student. However, I was refused by the Hong Kong America Embassy twice when applying for a F1-VISA for studying in the United States. Naturally, I was very discouraged. In the same year, my brother applied for our parents to immigrate to the USA, but because I was over 21, I could not be included in the application. Thinking that God closed the door of immigration, I thought I would have to be separated from my family and stayed in Hong Kong forever. But I did not know that it was God’s special plan. With advice from the academic dean, I changed my major to Social Casework & Counseling and soon became very interested in psychology. I also benefited a lot from this study for I began to understand the course of my inferiority complex. I thought that since I will not work to heal bodies, I hope that I could work to help to heal hearts.
The Glory of Success:
In 1967, I won the Championship Award of the Hong Kong Sing Tao Evening News’ 7th Annual Hong Kong Amateur Singing Competition, Classic Division; the prizes included the championship certificate, a gold medal, an Air France round-trip air tickets for travel to Europe, a precious Radar watch, Grundig global long-wave and short wave radio. I was immediately invited to join the then-famous “Seven Arts Society.” I was also selected to be trained to host the “Happy Evening” TV program which was being prepped at the time. So, from a quiet, shy kid, I had turned into a young and promising singer overnight! On the surface, I was a hero, but the struggle behind the scenes was a totally different story. Here’s how It happened:
Vocal Setbacks:
I have a keen sense of music since I was a child, and I had strong sense of relative pitch, tone quality and harmony. When I was a young kid, my music teacher said that my singing voice was unpleasant, so I never expected that I could sing, but instead, I became very interested in musical instruments. In school, when others are playing, I liked to borrow their violin to practice by myself and I was eventually recruited to play violin in the middle school string ensemble. Later, when I saw senior classmates playing the trumpet, I became very attracted to it, so I saved some money and was funded by my mother to buy a trumpet for my self-study. A few years later, I was selected as a trumpet soloist by a professor in college and played in the Hong Kong City Hall Concert Hall concerts. The professor also urged me to play the cello because the orchestra did not have a cellist. These opportunities gave me some sense of self-confidence. However, my inferiority complex was still significant.
Overcoming Vocal Setbacks:
When I was in the third year of college, I helped a Chinese fugitive Freedom Swimmer to audition for a scholarship of John Hopkins University, Peabody Institute of Music in the United States. I practiced with warming up his voice for many days. The audition was successful and he got 100% scholarship. His charisma in singing and his technique inspired me. I felt that I should overcome my challenge of singing. So I woke up every day early in the morning to go to the Chapel of the university and sing my head off practicing, imitating the way he sang for an hour.
After doing that for about six months, my fellow student introduced me to her voice teacher for voice lessons. Since I could not afford the lessons, the teacher agreed to teach me voice in exchange for correcting her theory students’ homework papers. This teacher was from a wealthy family, and for the students, she rented the City Hall Concert Hall at her own expense for her students to perform in. (at the time, that was the only first-class concert hall in Hong Kong) And, regardless of her reputation, no matter how bad some students were, everyone must perform in these concerts. At that time, I had only three months of voice lessons, of course, I was scared to death! I saw through a peep hole, that the audience was full to overflowing! Shaking and sweating, I sang two songs. I went backstage with a phony smile to cover my terrible shame.
Not only that, my teacher asked me to take part in a singing competition and chose a very difficult opera baritone solo, which was “Largo al factotum” from Rossini’s opera, “The Barber of Seville.” The song was a touchstone for baritone. It was 12 pages long, and sung in Italian, and it had an extremely fast tempo. It was a tongue twister with a two-octave range! I remembered when I sang, it was chaotic, and I made quite a few mistakes. But somehow, I did not know why, I got third place.
The next year, the teacher wanted me to participate in the competition again! And this time, I insisted on choosing the Toreador Song from the opera “Carmen” by Georges Bizet. I sang a little better, but I thought that the second-place winner was obviously better than me, in many ways. I believed I took the first place award from her! It was like a Chinese expression: “The chicken ate a firefly, her heart knows it, and stomach lights up too” which means, like a chicken, after eating a firefly, though nobody seems to notice, but she knows, and light in her stomach testifies to it. I know that I did not win the first price because of my talent. Obviously it is the work of God. The true story can only be confirmed by the members of the adjudication committee.
Overcoming the setbacks of being refused entry VISA to the United States:
In 1968, I went to Paris, with the Air France ticket that I won in the singing contest, and on behalf of the World University Service (WUS) in Hong Kong, I participated in six international student conferences held in six different countries, each for seven to ten days. After the meetings, the vice president of World University Service asked me where I was going after the conference. I said I was trying to meet with my family in the United States. He knew about my situation and decided to help me by writing a letter inviting me to the New York office of WUS for the American General Assembly meeting on behalf of Hong Kong. After I got the invitation letter, I investigated to find out which country’s US consulate was easier in approving US entry permits. Later, I found out that the US consulate in Copenhagen, Denmark, was very relaxed in issuing VISA’s, so I went there to apply for a VISA. Thank God, in only 15 minutes, the consul, without interviewing me, approved my application for six month’s stay! I further investigated and found that the New York immigration officers were very harsh. Perhaps because I was refused entry twice, I might be refused again. So I chose to fly to Montreal, Canada for a night or two, and then take a midnight train to the New York. When the immigration officer checked my papers, I was so nervous that I stuttered in my speech. I was afraid of being sent back to Europe or Hong Kong, I appeared like a thief being caught at the act. But thank God, he approved me for a three-month stay. This means that within three months, I will have to re-apply to stay in the United States for a different purpose. After attending the conference in New York, the General Assembly of WUS sent me, representing Hong Kong, to introduce the work of World University Service to students in other universities and to raise funds. After the responsibility was done, I came to California to reunite with my family. Thank God, my wish to come to America was finally fulfilled.
Overcoming the Dilemma of Staying in the United States for Studies:
It is extremely difficult to apply for admission to any university, and then apply for a visa to study in the United States within three months. With my B. S. W. degree, I naturally should apply for a master’s degree in social work or psychology. But after innumerable tries, I could not get any university to accept me into their social work or psychology programs. I was discouraged because that door was closed. I thought here was no chance anymore. My cousin Joyce suggested that maybe I should reverse the process by applying for admission to the Graduate School first, and then apply for admission to the Department. With no other alternative, I took her advice, and applied to the Graduate School first. With a prayer in my heart, I went to the graduate school office. The staff at the counter refused to accommodate me, but after Joyce’s reasoning with her, thank God, she finally approved my transcript and said that it was irregular, but only if any department accepted me for the master’s degree program, they would issue me the I-20 certificate. Now the hardest part is to find a graduate degree program that would accept me. Since I was refused in Social work programs, my cousin proposed that I try the music department, but then I didn’t think that they would accept me without a bachelor’s degree in music. I only have an academy degree from the Royal Schools of Music, London, which, to me, is not equivalent to a four year degree in the United States. Even if they accepted me, how could I cope with all the music studies that I had missed? But Joyce urged me to try, and said, if God helps, “There is nothing difficult to Him.” Thank God, when the head of the music department at the State University met me, though he didn’t understand what my certificates meant, he suggested that I go for an audition. With utmost fear and trembling, I went to be auditioned. I sing two songs, one in French and one in Italian. Thank God, it’s amazing, they appreciate it so much that They accepted me into the master’s degree in music program. This was a miracle, because although I didn’t have a bachelor’s degree in music, I was admitted to the graduate school of Music. Even more surprising, later, the head of the department decided to use the test method to determine my music competency. I was very much afraid that I would not pass. Thank God, somehow, I passed the tests. “…. With men, this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26 amazingly, the study program they approved for me would allow me to graduate in one and a half years! So I got an admission certificate and applied to study in the United States.
The Call of Preaching:
My dad said, “If you study music, your wife would surely be starved to death! What is more, there is racial discrimination in the United States, they will not hire Chinese to sing or teach vocal music.” (At that time, the world-famous Juliet Conservatory of Music had verified that Chinese, as a race, did not have absolute pitch. But at the present, most students of this academy are oriental, and most of them are Chinese. Among these students, there are no less students that possess perfect pitch ability.) My dad also said, with sincerity, “You would not ask a white man to teach you erhu. (a two stringed Chinese violin) how could you ask a white man to learn western vocal music from you?” However, “With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.” Here’s what God did for me:
In April 1972, a pastor friend called from San Francisco, saying that his church had five choirs, and a string ensemble, and needed a talent like me. I asked him if there was pay, he said, “No! But God will provide.” I think this may be a call from God, I must test it, and do it with faith. Because at that time, no matter what race a musician was, it was very difficult to find a job in the United States. Being Chinese, I simply did not have any chance. And the calling of this church position was a voluntary service position, it depended on my faith in God. I prayed to God that if I could not find a proper job within six trips north to San Francisco, (from Los Angeles,) it would mean that He had not called me to serve in His church. After six week-long northbound journeys to San Francisco, I couldn’t find a job! Full of sadness again, I was to go back home to Los Angeles. But while pumping gas before I started to head south, I met a lady who said that City College was looking for a music teacher like me. I asked her, “teaching what subject?” she said it was East Asian music. I said I didn’t have a degree in ethnomusicology, how can I teach East Asian music? She said I should try. Taking her advice, I applied. After three unsuccessful interviews, I lost hope again and returned back to Los Angeles. However, wonderful things happened within seven days. The voice teacher, and choir director, of City College of San Francisco resigned suddenly, and they had to hire a teacher within seven days, because I was the only candidate that they had interviewed, and I could teach not only East Asian music, but also voice and choir, I was therefore hired!
No matter what people say or criticize it, to me, this was a ministry call. The City College position had become my financial support for my ministry. While serving at college and church, I was hired by Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary and State University to teach courses on music. Thank God for His wonderful leadership. Although extremely busy, I was very happy.
Choose to serve God:
After three years of service, in 1975, City College suggested that I apply for a full-time tenure professor’s position, because they knew that with my three subject concentration, I have no competition for the position and they also needed me to teach more classes. But I refused because I was called to serve God. On the contrary, because of the call to serve God, I kept the part-time position at City College and entered the seminary for a Master of Divinity program, preparing myself for the ministry. After graduating from Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary in 1977, I served in four white churches for more than 20 years at the invitation of my pastor students at Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary. During this period, because of my dual status, as a pastor of worship and music director in the church, and a music professor in college, and being able to speak English, Cantonese and Mandarin, I had many opportunities to lead worship, preach and serve God in many churches. Subsequently I studied further in doctoral programs in pastoral ministry and was richly rewarded by the studies. In 1989, thank God, City College invited me again to apply for a full-time tenure position. I carefully thought and prayed about it and understood that I should accept it. So now, I have been a tenured professor in City College since 1989, preaching and leading worshiping among churches. In 1997, Overseas Theological Seminary invited me to teach worship theology and practice, and for twenty some years now, I have done my best to teach there. In 2002, I was elected as the head of the Department of Asian Studies of City College of San Francisco. Therefore, I reduced the ministry in the church so that I could work to give testimony of God at CCSF. In 2012, although I did not receive full pension, I decided to retire from City College and concentrate on teaching worship theology and practice. In the next year, Chinese Christian Herald Crusade invited me to start a ministry choir. There are now more than 60 singers in Herald Chorale, more than ten musicians, seven production team members, five translators, a total of more than 100 participated in serving God in one accord. Herald Chorale held eleven concerts last two seasons, and the glory of God was manifested by this choir ministry.
Conclusion:
No matter how successful or challenging it appears, the experience behind the scene is our reality. For those who love God with all their heart and soul, God will lead him so that he can enjoy the peace of God.